The POTATO group

Welcome to the world of LEGGIT & SCARPER….

 

When life in with your teen isn’t tough enough they start a whole new range of activities! One that comes up a lot within our community is the young runners and leavers. These expert terrified toddlers are inexpert young adolescents and therefore attract a whole heap of troubles due to many factors.

Vulnerable, excited and with a very limited grasp on cause & effect our young people represent a high level of risk to themselves and others that often the professionals and authorities fail to grasp. As parents it can be incredibly hard to get the Police, Social Care and other services to recognise the level of risk posed and act quickly.

Often, our young people just have not developed enough genuine empathy and appear completely indifferent showing ingratitude for the good life choices their adoptive families have demonstrated to them. Their inner world (developed from their backgrounds in their birth families) means they read life as full of fear, guilt, shame, horror and negativity and cannot accept the loving care from their adoptive families and struggle with secondary attachments (teachers, foster carers, mentors, social workers, medics, support workers e.t.c) to a degree too.

Again, with all things adoption, there are teens who run away from home but the intensity, frequency, level and frankly the reasons why they are doing this are at a completely different level from your “average teen”. We would argue in POTATO group that there should be a specific protocol for professionals to follow. Primarily we are into encouraging and supporting adoptive parents and going through the night, wondering if your wayward teen has hooked up with the local druggies at the park or offered sexual services for a packet of fags to the peadophile is something many of us have not only lived through but struggled through repeatedly. That constant bombardment of threat is a serious thing for the strongest parent and so we have put together some tips for surviving it. Don’t become a MASHED POTATO!

In comfort to most, the running off seems to arrive and then go as quickly as it came. Something, somewhere clicks. Maybe its the young person simply maturing. It does not seem event driven so a really serious event like being hit by a car or assaulted may not stop the running. But eventually, it stops in most.

So IF your young person is running then what do you do? Can you get prepared before it even starts? Read More

Welcome all Parents of Teens, Adopted in the UK

We are a UK based group of parents who have adopted our children from the looked after system in the past 20 years. All of our teenagers are incredible survivors who need specialist parenting which can be very hard going. Despite dealing with some heavy subjects, we like to meet socially and have a bit of relaxation with other parents who understand what we are facing. These pages are by way of an introduction to our group, our aims and an overview of what we do.   Our Group is a not for profit organisation committed to this community. Here is a brief (not exclusive) list of things POTATO group do.

  1. Demonstrate kindness to fellow adoptive parents of adopted young people in the UK by face to face, email and the private facebook facilities.
  2. Share our considerable expertise in areas such as housing, specialist schools/ colleges, mental health problems, therapy, addictions and other difficulties traumatised young people often bring into our lives.
  3. Several members are active in promoting good practice ideas and presenting to local and national authorities.
  4. Actively encourage “self care” within the membership, encouraging good physical and mental wellbeing in parents.
  5. Train & support volunteers and develop financially so we can cover volunteer expenses.
  6. Offer training to social care, education, social and health groups in life lived with adopted teens with practical strategies.
  7. Provide national events of interest for Parents of traumatised young people.