The POTATO group

Independence Day!

Well, not quite as it seems. More….Independence Day with frills….

POTATO group member parent writes about their incredible experiences of adoptive parenting and the wonderful experiences of encouraging and equipping their vulnerable young adult to move out.

YES! It can be done and there are some EXCELLENT tips in this Blog piece for parents looking ahead to moving our TATs (Traumatised Adopted Teenagers) on in a positive way.

Moving Home a DIY approach

Mental Health and staying in.

This blog piece is by a member of our group who has extensive experience of Mental Health issues within the family made up of adopted young people.

Fascinating insight into how it is to try and get adequate and appropriate let alone timely provision for them has been a long road.

This piece will help parents on a similiar track, but also help those who have been there make sense of some of their experiences.

Adoption social Mental Health inpatientbed search

Transference and an adoptive parent.

This week we have a blog post written by a group member who has experienced transference, in relation to her teenage daughters.

We have had a lot of positive feed back from the first blog post in association with The Adoption Social and the Open Nest. This piece the next in the series from The POTATO group. 

There’s a lot of learning in here, not only personal experience of one member. 

Transference Blog Piece.

New venture with a BLOG.

 

Good afternoon everyone.

We are very excited to announce that we have begun a regular weekly blog of: articles, reflections, blog diaries and information contributed by our members. This is mostly to families who are host to young people who have had early trauma and been adopted and their friends.

Every week we will write a piece for publication with The Adoption Social in association with The Open Nest.

Our first blog piece is by our Chair, June. She has written a thought provoking and reaction-giving article, particularly in reference to the recent Radio 4- Justice McFarlane piece. She challenges the language that social care and other organisations use when referring to us adopters, our young people and our circumstances.

We would be really interested to see what you think. By all means comment in the box below, or email us @parentingadoptedteens@gmail.com

Is there something you would like to see written about? Anything you want to submit?

If you are a member, come and discuss it with us on our Facebook group, or you can always Tweet us @thePOTATOgroup.

 

Time out! It’s Mother’s Day

As Mothers Day can cause a lot of upset for families with traumatised adoptees in them we have decided to have a TIME OUT event. The adoptee might be making you upset, grumpy and hopeless. You have been firmly naughty stepped for being called MUM. 
So as the mum’s who are on the naughty step, we encourage you to disobediently have a lovely treat whatever your young persons challenges may be.
This event has to be a time for Mum to do what SHE chooses for at least 30 minutes (ideally an hour). If your adopted person isn’t in contact with your family, please take some extra time out. 

Including the ever popular ideas of drinking, eating and erm, drinking and eating. Here are some other ideas:

Just take a selfie or picture of what activities you’ve chosen for your TIME OUT.

Introducing the 2016 AGM.

img_9109Its lunchtime and before you tuck into your sandwiches, pop an email across to parentingadoptedteens@gmail.com getting your name down for our annual meeting. We will email you with all the details of the day we cannot put here for security reasons.

If you are going to Birmingham for the adoptionuk conference on the 19th of November 2016 maybe book another night in the hotel and come along in the morning to our mini conference.

On Sunday the 20th of November, from 9 until 1, you’ll hear all about what POTATO group do and what sorts of things we want to aim for in the year to come.

If you are a member already you can come along for free and you get to vote. Information about the steering committee volunteer positions can be sent to you on request.  To become a member email us, fill in the membership form and pay the annual £10.

We would like to welcome as many members as possible on the day but if you have a question or idea and cannot attend, please do email us between now and the 18th November 2016.

Our whole group want you to feel as included as possible and that your thoughts, ideas and experiences matter so if you can possibly attend it would be fantastic to see you.

 

 

What we are on about when we say “traumatised adoptees”.

There are some mistakes folk make when talking about traumatised kids, really it boils down to not wanting to think too much on the awful stuff that happens to children in this day and age.

To address some of these misconceptions and to inform the public at large, the open nest adoption support charity have made a series of short films.

This one is called “The Lost Children of Trauma”. 

Legal People- fabulous free resource

Legal people! Have a free, comprehensive resource on resolution and family law conference on us!

Links and Resources Page 

present

Independent Reviewing Officers Conference (NAIRO)

Good morning everyone, its the day of the NAIRO conference today and POTATO group are there, talking with IROs and sharing with them the realities of life with traumatised adopted young people.

It may come as a surprise to some that around 3-5% of young adoptees have found family life too hard and need more than a family can offer. There are many reasons for this but it is true that the numbers of children going into the care of social services from adoptive homes goes up ten fold in teenage years (Selwyn et al “Beyond the Adoption Order” 2014.) Most end up in section 20 looked after care. This is where the parents retain full parental rights (PR) but have asked the local authority to look after their young person.

Because of this, every young person has a review with an IRO present. They also have a right to a social worker and an independent advocate.

For more information about section 20 and retaining PR check out the information provided by Family rights Group

We have written an information document for IROs use, giving out copies at todays conference. Please see our Links and Resources page for more information.

Free NVR sessions

We get sent lots of emails from various adoption support agencies. This one arrived today and it looked really helpful to many of our families.

Non Violent Resistance – NVR

FREE – 9 Week Group Sessions

for Parents and Carers

of Children and Young People
presenting
Challenging, Destructive and Violent Behaviour

Thursday mornings 10.15 – 12.45
20 Oct 2016 3, 10, 17, 24 Nov 2016 1, 8, 15 Dec 2016 12 Jan 2017

Venue: ‘Freedom from Torture’, 111 Isledon Road, London N7 7JW (see map on back)

This is a closed group that includes training on NVR.
If you are a two-parent family it is most beneficial if both parents attend where possible.
Please only enrol if you can make it a priority to attend each week.
(We will be running another group from January 2017.)

We wish to use parts of this course in our ‘Training for Trainers Course.’ We therefore need participants’ agreement to video the sessions. Please note the camera will directed at the group facilitators. The material will only be used for future NVR trainers and group facilitators.
Participants will learn to:
· Feedback from 2 parents from the last course

‘There has been no advice as valuable as the ideas and delivery of this course, even if some of it seems alien – hang on in there.’

Exceptionally good, knowledgeable, and experienced course facilitators. Every adoptive family needs these people. Top marks.
Take a firm stance against violence

· Hold back from physical or verbal violence

· Increase positive presence in your child’s life

· De-escalate conflicts

· Break the cycle of shame and silence

· Make changes in relating to your child in the long term

· Reduce distress for parent and child

· Feel more in control

· Recruit and use supporters

· Enjoy the benefits of being part of a group

To register, please use the following link: http://www.pac-uk.org/training/ , open the link to “Workshops for adoptive parents” and complete the online form. Please make sure that you confirm your registration after you submitted the form. You will then receive an email confirmation.

The facilitators

Michelle Shapiro is an experienced chartered clinical psychologist with 10 years’ experience in a CAMHS service. Michelle was one of the original team trained by Haim Omer, who then began implementing NVR in the Bexley and Greenwich CAMHS service (Oxleas). Since 2013 Michelle has been an independent practitioner, specialising in NVR and trauma work.
Sue Dromey has worked in the field of fostering and adoption for over 35 years as an integrative child psychotherapist, drama therapist, trainer and social worker. She has worked as a therapist and Practice Manager for PAC-UK’s Child and Family Service for 15years. Sue has a special interest in helping families deal with the impact of trauma on their daily lives. She is interested in integrating NVR with therapeutic work which addresses trauma.
Ruth Pimenta: joined PAC-UK’s Child and Family Service in 2013 as child and family therapist. She was a teacher in London for 16 years. She qualified as a therapist in 2000 and has worked in local authority, the voluntary sector and in private practice and is a member of BACP. She has a wealth of experience as a child mental health worker and as a trainer with foster carers, adoptive parents and social workers.
We are joined by 2 graduate NVR parents – who have both ‘been there and got the t-shirt.’
Participants have found it invaluable to have the parent facilitators as part of the team
Tamsin: parent co-facilitator who became a parent through adoption and has been using NVR with her family.
Dawn: parent co-facilitator and adoptive parent who has been using NVR with her family and has facilitated an NVR parenting programme within a school.

Venue:

Nearest Underground station: Finsbury Park (Piccadilly and Victoria lines).
Bus routes: 4, 29, 90, 153, 253, 254, 259, and 279. This purpose-built treatment centre has wheelchair access and a WC adapted for use by disabled people.
Parking: Sobell Centre Car Park – this centre is a little down the road from ‘Freedom for Torture’, on the other side of the road. There are parking metres in most of the streets nearby. At the back of the 115 Isledon Road, there are some parking facilities and payment by mobile phone.

Mila Coronado
Team Administrator
mila@pac-uk.org
t. 020 7284 0555
f. 020 7482 2367
http://i61.tinypic.com/2lu8f4h.pngwww.pac-uk.org