I’m Tired…

Potato Members have recently been attending a variety of online events talking about CPV (Child to Parent Violence), Attachment and The Care Review.

The words of a potato member demonstrate clearly how many of our members feel so misunderstood when we are simply tired. We parent traumatised children/ teens and young adults who entered our lives with attachment difficulties that did not melt away and CPV became the reason so many of our much loved children then re-entered care. Will the care review be able to hear uncomfortable truths about traumatised children and how adopters (special guardians , kinship carers and long term foster carers) are misunderstood when we are simply tired of it all? Our spud said this

“I often used to wonder what people would do when they ask you how you are if you didn’t just say fine but outpoured – they would probably regret asking or avoid you in future.

Well tonight I’m not fine so I’m treating you lovely Potato folk to a self pitying whinge called I’m tired…

I’m tired of whinging
tired of being tired
tired of the stress, anxiety and worry
tired of the daily challenges
tired of the not knowing
tired of not being in control
tired of the frustration and conflicting emotions
tired of feeling numb, hollow and empty
tired of the helplessness and grief
tired of trying
tired of putting on a brave face and pretending to cope
tired of trying to please everyone with little or no thanks
tired of treading on eggshells
tired of keeping it all in so not to alienate people further
tired of not knowing whats truth and whats lies
tired of failing when i try my best and the lowering self esteem and confidence that is creeping back in
tired of the micro moments i manage (guess thats a positive i still have them) swiftly being snuffed out by the next bad news or challenge
tired of loss of people and my possessions
tired of disturbed sleep
tired of not knowing who i am anymore
tired of feeling sorry for myself
tired of fight and flight competing with each other
tired of double standards
tired of being blamed
tired of being judged
tired of feeling compromised
tired of worrying about the future and the childrens future and safety
tired of constantly fearing the worst
tired of the what if’s and what should have beens
tired of feeling so lost that i feel the need to write and share self pitying rubbish like this.
I guess I’m just tired 😴!”

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